I want to move to NH so you can be my vet! Everything I have read so far confirms you'd be the best one I've ever had. I learn so much and appreciate the insight I gain from reflecting on your powerful words!
This really made me think. I don’t have a cat but the lesson is universal. I have a dog that carries the “aggressive” label and I always try to counter politely that he’s scared not mean! (He loves his gp - but has doubts about every other heartbeat in the building) The lack of understanding has frequently made me mad… because I also feel unsafe.
I have a 2 year old male, long haired tuxedo who was neutered before I got him from a shelter when he was about 8 weeks old. He has bitten and seriously scratched me more times than I can count. When I first got him he was such a small cute baby I thought it had to be from his life before me that I know nothing about. I've had cats my whole life and am an experienced and knowledgeable cat owner. He has experienced nothing but love, pets, cuddles, soft blankets and pure kitty heaven since I got him. He will still bite and scratch me if I'm not careful with how I move around him. I can't reach around him or wipe surfaces around him, he will bite. Not love bites either, really aggressive hard bites since he was a baby. Even when feeding him. And don't even think about trying to get him to do something he doesn't want to do. Nail clipping, cleaning him, etc, I have to wear heavy long gloves. He has literally bitten chunks out of my arm. I don't strike him or do anything to punish him other than raise my voice a little when he hurts me, because, it hurts. I don't treat him any different than my other cats but still he bites and scratches. I've never had another cat behave this way. HELP! What should I do?
This sounds incredibly difficult, especially when you’ve had cats your whole life and know this isn’t typical behavior.
My first thought wouldn’t be “he’s an aggressive cat,” but rather, “why does he feel the need to bite?” The patterns you describe—reaching around him, handling, nail trims, even certain movements—make me wonder about fear, sensitivity to handling, learned responses, or even pain. And sometimes we never know what happened during those very early weeks of life.
Because his bites are severe, I would start with a thorough veterinary exam specifically looking for pain or another medical contributor. If that’s ruled out, this is a cat I’d consider referring to a veterinarian who specializes in behavior. In the meantime, I wouldn’t force handling or punish him for biting. The goal is to figure out his triggers and work below the point where he feels he has to defend himself.
There may be a reason for his behavior. We just have to figure out what he’s trying to tell you.
Maybe you have seen the TikToks of “aggressive” cats at the vet, with the tech suiting up in protective gear and the cats going nuts. These are supposed to be amusing but they always make me sad because it is clear to me that this is about fear. I am not a vet and I don’t have any credentials except one reiki for animals course but I have 65 years of experience with cats and have been involved with rescue for decades. So I understand what is happening. I don’t know about Kiwi, but I have observed certain “aggressive” cats my friends have and I understand pretty well. Often there is only one cat in the household and the animal gets very overstimulated when the person is interacting with him or her. So I offer suggestions. But sometimes people get stuck on the label of aggressive and it’s hard for them to see things differently.
When I got my cat last year he was a wild thing. My left leg got badly scarred for a while from scratches he left using my leg as a jump-off place to run across the room. I had scratches in places I swear no cat had ever scratched me before. He is my 17th cat over a long life of having cats. I’m no stranger to cats, in other words.
I got the largest cat carrier I could find but I didn’t use it for transportation; I put him in it at night in my walk-in closet with the door left open. He made such a ruckus at night that I could not sleep, so this was my compromise. If I can’t sleep I have a migraine all the following day. I made a choice that was a compromise. Mind you, in the past my cats have always slept with me, but Steve was too hyper for that. He was up and down all night. He also happens to be one of those cats who does Parkour. I lined the box with a soft folded up beach towel. He would actually calm right down when I crated him. It was magic.
Now the box is out with me. Hours have changed as well, plus he has kidney disease, which has slowed him down. He also apparently has a heart murmur and incipient periodontal disease. Because of the kidney disease he wets the towel if he’s in the box too long. So now he begins the night in the box and I try to take him out before he pees after three or four hours. Then he is pretty happy to jump in bed with me.
He’s much calmer and my main worry is what to feed him. He just doesn’t seem to want to eat much. But the medicine I give him is mixed into his wet food. It’s a worry. He’s very small. Right now he is happily sleeping in my lap. He just isn’t like any of my other cats, in every way I can think of.
Steve sounds like a perfect example of why we have to look at the individual cat rather than expect every cat to behave the same way. You found something that made both of your lives work—and apparently made Steve feel safe too.
The one thing I wouldn’t ignore is his decreased appetite, especially with kidney disease and his small size. I’d mention that to your veterinarian if you haven’t already. And I’d ask whether his medication can be given another way so his food stays just food—we really want our kidney cats to keep eating!
He actually likes all the supplements! He’ll eat them and ignore the food. He refused both breakfast and dinner today but ate at least half my cooked chicken at dinner. I’ve been feeding him Karnlea appetite stimulant, which he likes; Vetra-something nutritional gel, plus Paraquan, a phosphate binding medication. He likes both of them, too. But I will call the vet. There seems to be no
Logic to his pickiness. Sometimes he eats a food, then two or three days later he won’t touch it. It’s hard to know what to buy.
Your thoughts have hit the nail on the head for the collective feeling of “unsafeness” in this country. Constantly barraged with propaganda and a rhetoric of fear, NO ONE can feel safe. And, the constant barrage causes a build up of fear and apathy, there will be violent outbursts from the populace.
I want to move to NH so you can be my vet! Everything I have read so far confirms you'd be the best one I've ever had. I learn so much and appreciate the insight I gain from reflecting on your powerful words!
This really made me think. I don’t have a cat but the lesson is universal. I have a dog that carries the “aggressive” label and I always try to counter politely that he’s scared not mean! (He loves his gp - but has doubts about every other heartbeat in the building) The lack of understanding has frequently made me mad… because I also feel unsafe.
Agreed. I've seen this in the classroom as well.
great how you framed that thank you so much
I have a 2 year old male, long haired tuxedo who was neutered before I got him from a shelter when he was about 8 weeks old. He has bitten and seriously scratched me more times than I can count. When I first got him he was such a small cute baby I thought it had to be from his life before me that I know nothing about. I've had cats my whole life and am an experienced and knowledgeable cat owner. He has experienced nothing but love, pets, cuddles, soft blankets and pure kitty heaven since I got him. He will still bite and scratch me if I'm not careful with how I move around him. I can't reach around him or wipe surfaces around him, he will bite. Not love bites either, really aggressive hard bites since he was a baby. Even when feeding him. And don't even think about trying to get him to do something he doesn't want to do. Nail clipping, cleaning him, etc, I have to wear heavy long gloves. He has literally bitten chunks out of my arm. I don't strike him or do anything to punish him other than raise my voice a little when he hurts me, because, it hurts. I don't treat him any different than my other cats but still he bites and scratches. I've never had another cat behave this way. HELP! What should I do?
This sounds incredibly difficult, especially when you’ve had cats your whole life and know this isn’t typical behavior.
My first thought wouldn’t be “he’s an aggressive cat,” but rather, “why does he feel the need to bite?” The patterns you describe—reaching around him, handling, nail trims, even certain movements—make me wonder about fear, sensitivity to handling, learned responses, or even pain. And sometimes we never know what happened during those very early weeks of life.
Because his bites are severe, I would start with a thorough veterinary exam specifically looking for pain or another medical contributor. If that’s ruled out, this is a cat I’d consider referring to a veterinarian who specializes in behavior. In the meantime, I wouldn’t force handling or punish him for biting. The goal is to figure out his triggers and work below the point where he feels he has to defend himself.
There may be a reason for his behavior. We just have to figure out what he’s trying to tell you.
Kiwi is such a beautiful kitty! 🙏
Maybe you have seen the TikToks of “aggressive” cats at the vet, with the tech suiting up in protective gear and the cats going nuts. These are supposed to be amusing but they always make me sad because it is clear to me that this is about fear. I am not a vet and I don’t have any credentials except one reiki for animals course but I have 65 years of experience with cats and have been involved with rescue for decades. So I understand what is happening. I don’t know about Kiwi, but I have observed certain “aggressive” cats my friends have and I understand pretty well. Often there is only one cat in the household and the animal gets very overstimulated when the person is interacting with him or her. So I offer suggestions. But sometimes people get stuck on the label of aggressive and it’s hard for them to see things differently.
When I got my cat last year he was a wild thing. My left leg got badly scarred for a while from scratches he left using my leg as a jump-off place to run across the room. I had scratches in places I swear no cat had ever scratched me before. He is my 17th cat over a long life of having cats. I’m no stranger to cats, in other words.
I got the largest cat carrier I could find but I didn’t use it for transportation; I put him in it at night in my walk-in closet with the door left open. He made such a ruckus at night that I could not sleep, so this was my compromise. If I can’t sleep I have a migraine all the following day. I made a choice that was a compromise. Mind you, in the past my cats have always slept with me, but Steve was too hyper for that. He was up and down all night. He also happens to be one of those cats who does Parkour. I lined the box with a soft folded up beach towel. He would actually calm right down when I crated him. It was magic.
Now the box is out with me. Hours have changed as well, plus he has kidney disease, which has slowed him down. He also apparently has a heart murmur and incipient periodontal disease. Because of the kidney disease he wets the towel if he’s in the box too long. So now he begins the night in the box and I try to take him out before he pees after three or four hours. Then he is pretty happy to jump in bed with me.
He’s much calmer and my main worry is what to feed him. He just doesn’t seem to want to eat much. But the medicine I give him is mixed into his wet food. It’s a worry. He’s very small. Right now he is happily sleeping in my lap. He just isn’t like any of my other cats, in every way I can think of.
Steve sounds like a perfect example of why we have to look at the individual cat rather than expect every cat to behave the same way. You found something that made both of your lives work—and apparently made Steve feel safe too.
The one thing I wouldn’t ignore is his decreased appetite, especially with kidney disease and his small size. I’d mention that to your veterinarian if you haven’t already. And I’d ask whether his medication can be given another way so his food stays just food—we really want our kidney cats to keep eating!
He actually likes all the supplements! He’ll eat them and ignore the food. He refused both breakfast and dinner today but ate at least half my cooked chicken at dinner. I’ve been feeding him Karnlea appetite stimulant, which he likes; Vetra-something nutritional gel, plus Paraquan, a phosphate binding medication. He likes both of them, too. But I will call the vet. There seems to be no
Logic to his pickiness. Sometimes he eats a food, then two or three days later he won’t touch it. It’s hard to know what to buy.
Your thoughts have hit the nail on the head for the collective feeling of “unsafeness” in this country. Constantly barraged with propaganda and a rhetoric of fear, NO ONE can feel safe. And, the constant barrage causes a build up of fear and apathy, there will be violent outbursts from the populace.